The Wound

Time has passed and many years elapsed
Since I walked upon that ground
That abandoned me wounded and alone
Now visions haunt me as my life dance carries on

Can I reach that place so deep inside me?
Where even the brave fear to go
A place so deep and hidden
It has taken years to open

So young and innocent
Dancing under the Acacia tree
Imagining a life of joy
Cut so deep by those I trusted

Left to find my way
In a world so foreign and new
No one to help me learn the path
Only harsh commands to follow

No Mother to guide my childish dreams
I can not reach for help or ask advice
I can not get a hug or be told I’m loved
Just guided by hands of the enemy

Can I find the courage to face this hurt
And label it for what it is
Abuse, mental, spiritual, physical
Once identified, no longer my adversary

This monster I will breach
And face with valor so intense
Because those I love
Deserve the whole of me!

Isolated Hill

Standing upon an isolated hill
Seeing those I love, drive away
The pain in my heart may not kill
But my soul will ache for years

I am alone and secluded here
No touch to heal my wounds
Only words, pinches and sneers
That binds my spirit in hell

I beg to be released from this nightmare
Silent screams fill my days
Please come and take me home
Don’t leave me so alone

Tears are soundless as I weep
Waiting for the kiss that heals
Those lips will never touch my cheek
My dreams are filled with fear

My ache turns to anger
My screams, go unheard
Left alone, but I will not die
My soul has hidden this burden deep

I hide myself deep inside
The fear, the ache so dangerous
I do not want to stand upon that isolated hill
To watch you leave me once again!

Boarding School Survivor

I have been dealing a lot with issues related to my boarding school experiences. It has been difficult and encouraging. I have found that I am not alone! For many years I felt very isolated because I thought that I was the only one who suffered. Recently I was able to acknowledge that I was the subject of mental, spiritual and physical abuse. The way to healing is allowing the Lord to help me release the poisonous memories and speaking the truth in love about what happened. My screams for help went unheard as a child, now my voice can never be silent. I must speak, to heal, to let others know they are not alone and to protect the nest generation of MK’s.

Hyder News April 2011

It has been so long since I have written a newsletter. With the age of Facebook and Twitter, I forget that many of you have not heard something personal from us in a while. To keep up with us follow our blog here: http://hyderpak5.blogspot.com/



We are currently in Quantico, Virginia with the Marine Corps. We have 13 more months here before heading to Oahu, Hawaii for our next assignment in June 2012.



Paul moved from TBS, The Basic School, to The Beast in October of last year. The Beast is the largest battalion in the Marine Corps and incorporates many units including the Marine Corps Band here on base. He loves his job and enjoys getting dirty and being hands on with his marines. Paul now holds the record for the number of times in one day a Chaplain has gone through the gas chamber. Just recently, he led a young marine to Christ and is excited to be discipling this young man. Please continue to pray for his ministry with the Marines.



I am busy homeschooling and discipling our three girls. The twins, Kaye and Maddy, are now thirteen and Ally just turned eleven. As you can imagine we have lots of teenage hormones flying around at the moment. The twins are very active in our Church’s Youth Group. They are excited to be going to Crossroads Youth Camp this summer. Ally is looking forward to her second soccer season this Fall. Please pray for them to keep their eyes and hearts on Jesus during this new period of their lives.



We just had a short but wonderful visit with Aprile’s Mom. Alice is still busy with ministry in Kenya. She will head back to Africa on Thursday. Please pray for her safety as she travels and the ministry in Kenya. ACO has grown a lot in the last few years and is blossoming into a new era with Aprile’s brother, Tom at the helm. Keep up with their news at: http://tomandkerryinkenya.blogspot.com/



Prayer Requests:



1.That our final year of ministry here will be blessed and fruitful.
2.Our Parenting of young teens will be guided with wisdom and understanding.
3.The girls, Kaye, Maddy and Ally will keep their eyes and hearts on Jesus
4.That the Lord will be preparing the road ahead of us in Oahu
■Ministry in Oahu
■Friends for the girls and us in Oahu

Hyder Update 2/11

The life of a military family is never boring and always moving . Everyday we wake up and are reminded of those we know and care for who are in harms way.
This week the thunder of artillery fire shook our house all day, as our Marines prepared for the days ahead.

For those unfamiliar with ordinance fire, the experience is one you will never forget. When the artillery is firing my walls literally shake and everything rattles. It is a constant reminder that our Marines are training for battle.

Please pray for Jason one of our young RP's who is now in Afghanistan with his Chaplain. Jason is a young RP tasked with protecting and supporting a Chaplain in a hostile environment. He must not only look out for his own life, but must put the Chaplain's life before his own. I will always be grateful for Paul’s RP’s in Iraq who protected him while he was ministering to those in need.

As the only members in military service who are not authorized to carry weapons, chaplains must rely on their religious programs specialists (RP) for protection in theaters of operation. Although, the primary mission of an RP is to provide administrative and technical support for the chaplain, while forward deployed, RP’s also provide personal protection for the chaplain. RP’s are the right arm of the chaplain.


Please pray for us at it is again time for us to talk with the Detailer about our next duty station. Paul needs to go to a ship for this assignment. We are looking at the possibility of him going to an aircraft carrier. This would mean he would be deployed about 7 months a year.

Please Pray:
For Wisdom as we talk with the Detailer
That the Lord will prepare the road ahead of us, for ministry, friends and home.
That our children will be able to move easily as it is getting much harder to leave friends.

Managing a Fire Drill

For many of my friends and family the term fire drill is limited to school drills or the always fun Chinese fire drill that we always indulge in on long road trips.
Figuratively, a Chinese fire drill is an act—especially, any large, ineffective, and chaotic exercise—by a group of individuals that accomplishes nothing. To the Hyder family, a Chinese fire drill is a gag performed by us when stopped at a traffic light, especially on a long road trip when we need a moment to stretch our legs. Before the light changes to green, everybody gets out, runs around the vehicle, and gets back inside (but not necessarily in his original seat).

The other day after a fire drill of my own I began to wonder where this term came from. Here is what I found out, the term is alleged to have originated in the early 1900s, when a ship manned by British officers and a Chinese crew practiced a fire drill in the engine room. The bucket brigade drew water from the starboard side, took it to the engine room, and threw it onto the fire. A separate crew hauled the accumulated water to the main deck and heaved the water over the port side. The drill went according to plan until the orders became confused in translation. The bucket brigade began to draw the water from the starboard side, run over to the port side and then throw the water overboard, bypassing the engine room completely.

For me however, a fire drill is more related to a way of living that occurred while traveling the world and growing up in Kenya. A “Stickney Fire Drill” was related to any event in which we were unprepared and therefore had to improvise in order to accomplish tasks. Many of these events occurred while traveling.


After packing and actually getting the suitcases shut.



There was the loading and dragging and lifting to get them to the airport. At the airport there was the loading and dragging and lifting to get them to check in.

At the Airport bags were overweight. We had to repack, reorganize and reclose all the suitcases in the middle of the airport.


Then the running like crazy in airports all over the world in order to make connecting flights.



So, you would think that after a lifetime of fire drills I would be well equipped to handle them. But looking into my daughters eyes yesterday at the post office convinced me that I am not as good as I thought. As she quietly watched me, with horror in her eyes, I proceeded to pack boxes and cram them closed on the floor of the Post Office. During all of this, every minute or so, I was peeling off layers of my clothes because I was so hot from packing boxes. By the time I was done the Post Office floor was covered in clothes, tape, boxes and misc. other items. I couldn't help laughing at my 10 year old daughter silently pretending like she did not know me.

Despite all the effort I have put into trying to control my life and organize events so that “fire drills” do not happen, I really do not have the control to put all the fires out. This is where my dependence on God is always tested. I want so much to control and handle things myself, that I often neglect to let go and let God step in.

It seems that Christmas time in the United States has become a fire drill. We forget the true meaning of Christmas and run from one activity to the next, filling in any still moments with shopping and wrapping and stress. We really need to slow down and focus on Jesus.
Anyway, I know this is kind of a rambling post. I just felt compelled to write out what and how the Lord has spoken to me over the last few weeks.

“Slow down, enjoy the moment and revel in God’s creation, do not be so quick to control because HE has ordained your days and knows the journey, slow down and let HIM lead you.”

Living Stones

It is hard to believe that summer is almost here and that Memorial Day is just weeks away. It is awe inspiring to walk the rows of Arlington cemetery and see the markers that stand as a testimony to the lives sacrificed for our Nation’s freedom and defense.

Our Bible Study group has been working through some of Ray Vander Laan’s video studies. One of his series “Standing at the Crossroads” focuses on the standing stones of the Bible. The Hebrew word massebah is translated standing stones and means, to set up. To honor their covenant with God, the Israelites set up standing stones as a reminder of God’s supernatural acts on their behalf. The Bible records several of these significant events: (Ex. 24:2—4) (Josh. 4:2—3, 8—9) (Josh. 24:27).

Several years ago a friend gave us a book on how to unify the family. One of the suggestions was to collect stones from different places as a memorial. We now have quite a collection of stones and often use them to remind ourselves of life’s victories and sometimes defeats. Every time we move the movers always think I am crazy when I have them pack all of our rocks.

I have a large piece of petrified wood that Paul purchased for me when he returned from Iraq. It is a reminder that God was working in me to make me stronger during the year Paul was deployed. I honestly believe that year was one of the hardest in my life, Paul was deployed, I had a hysterectomy, and most of the year encompassed my Dad’s last months of life and ultimately his death. However, I grew more in my faith during that year as I was forced to rely on the Lord to see me through. I changed just like the petrified wood to stone. Not hardened but stronger and better equipped to the ministry God has called me to.

If we faithfully obey God, we will be like standing stones. Nonbelievers will notice that our lives are different. But if we fail to explain why we are different, we become ineffective, silent stones. I Peter 2:5 challenges us to be living, not silent, standing stones. We can and should testify to the amazing things God has done for us.

As Memorial Day approaches I want to encourage you to remember your life’s journey. Take time to reflect on how God has grown you into a living stone. Challenge yourself to be a living stone; God has placed YOU in a sphere of influence. No matter how large or small that influence may be, you can act in a way that shows others "the Lord is God."